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The One When A Psychic Pissed Me Off

Sign leading to Mind Body & Spirit Fair

The psychic was shocked when I told her my age. She had me down for ten years younger. Naturally I was thrilled, but then quickly not so thrilled. Shouldn't she have already known? 

I'd used a new Clarins exfoliator that morning. Maybe I was to blame for meddling with the natural ageing process?

I sat in anticipation across from the Spiritual Tarot Reader, looking ten years younger and eagerly awaiting my messages. What would the spirit guides tell me? What will I be? Will I be pretty? Will I be rich? Here's what she said to me... 

"You need counselling for a traumatic event from your past that you're currently repressing. You need to retrain and study law. Someone you know has a birthday coming up. If you had gone into teaching, the pupils would've bullied you. Your brother will go off the rails, but don't worry everything will work out in the end. Don't rush into marriage. Your boyfriend is overprotective and your ex bullied you from the start. You drive fast. Blogging isn't writing, seriously consider studying law. You have a successful future and this success will start to manifest before 2016 is out."

I paid the £35 fee and left. On the drive home, feeling shell shocked and deflated, I played the CD recording of the Tarot reading. I reflected upon it, and cringed listening to the sound of my own voice being played back. Is there anything worse?  

# I have repressed the traumatic event from my past to the extent that I couldn't for the life of me think what it might be. I had no clue what I might need counselling for. I began to feel troubled about the fact that I didn't know what it was that was supposed to be troubling me.
# I have no desire to study law. None whatsoever.

# She was right, I did know someone with a birthday coming up. What did this mean??

# I didn't go into teaching.

# I was deeply concerned about my brother. Not least because he is going to go off the rails, but also because I wasn't aware that I had a brother. *point to action - double check with Mum that I absolutely don't have a brother.

# Should anyone ever pop the question I will bear in mind that I shouldn't rush into marriage. Probably won't have much time to plan a wedding anyway, not with my counselling sessions, law studies and a brother on the run. 

# My boyfriend is simply not overprotective. I've never been encouraged to do what makes me happy more.

# My ex never bullied me. Unless of course I've repressed it.

# I'm a very cautious driver.

# Blogging absolutely IS writing. May what I am about to write serve as proof .... I DO NOT WANT TO STUDY LAW!

# Ok Ok, so I can get on board with the final message ... I will have a successful future. 

Well, what do you make of my reading? I'd love to know if you've ever had one and how it worked out for you. 

I remain open minded to the possibility of contacting spirit guides. I do believe it's possible and I'd never knock what could bring someone comfort. For me though, in this instance, I'm getting the message "you've been done pal." 

Yesterday I'd ended up off course. My reading funnily enough pointed me back in the right direction. In an impatient quest for answers, I looked outwards to the world and asked questions. Turns out the answers were already within me. I don't need to be counselled for a traumatic event that didn't happen and I don't have a bright future in law. 

What a pity I had to spend £35.00 to reach that conclusion. Could've put it towards a birthday gift. There's one coming up you know. 

Did I mention I look ten years younger? 

What better way to round off this post than with a Doris Day sing-along, do join in if you know it...

"Que sera sera, whatever will be will be, the futures not ours to see, que sera sera."

Thanks so much for reading. Don't forget you can follow Not Your Nine To Five on Twitter here and Instagram here x x 


  1. Love that song and had in in my head the whole time reading :) what an awful reading!! I would have refused to pay her. Never had a tarot reading done myself, but know of a lot of people who do. I'm very open minded to the spirit world and have had a medium reading before that was actually spot on word for word. Kinda freaky really. Best part about it was that it was free. I sometimes go to my local spiritual church, have recieved a message once or twice but they haven't been that great.

    Love Hannah xx


    1. I never thought about trying a spiritual church, that would've been a really good idea. Some people genuinely seem to have a gift don't they! I've been put off for the time being, still trying to get over it! :) xx

  2. I agree with Hannah, I would have flat out refused to pay for such an awful reading!

    The bit about a brother made me really laugh, I can't believe she was so convinced you had one and that he was going 'off the rails'


    1. Noooo I wish I'd spoken up now, or at least haggled a discount!
      I told her I didn't have a brother so she said maybe it's your boyfriends brother! Guess for long enough and someone's gonna have a brother!! Oh dear :) xx


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