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The Worries You Have When You're At A Health Spa

If you can tell me the name of one person who doesn't like to relax and be pampered, I'll give you a fiver.
Who doesn't enjoy spending a day unwinding in luxurious surroundings, taking a break from the hustle and bustle of your everyday routine? A chance to rejuvenate and revive your senses before, well, going back to the hustle and bustle of your everyday routine.
You work hard so why shouldn't you treat yourself every once in a while? A cheeky little full body bamboo scrub never hurt anybody did it?
Press play on the panpipes (volumes 1 AND 2), we're coming in!! ...
Polaroid photo of girl wearing a cucumber face mask
Now... breathe deeply and slowly as all your worries start to slip away... except for these:
#1 Am I supposed to put my dressing gown on in the hotel room and arrive at the spa reception ready, or will everybody else be getting changed into their robes once they get there? What if I turn up in my robe and look like a pervert? Then again what if I turn up fully clothed and look like a prude who doesn't spa regularly? 
#2 Will all the complimentary lemon water make me need a wee during my treatment? *starts to need a wee*
#3 When I get left to undress for my treatment, exactly how long have I got before she's coming back into the room? *gets undressed at the speed of light*  
#4 Did she say I'm supposed to lie on my front or on my back?  

#5 Did she say lie on top of or under the towel?

Spa Day Essentials, Dressing Gown, Swimming Costume, Flip Flops
#6 When she gently knocks before re-entering the room am I supposed to say "come in?"

#7 Can she tell my paper knickers are slowly disappearing up my arse? *Tenses bum cheeks to prevent any further disappearance*

#8 Exactly how young and pretty will the girl massaging my boyfriend be? *clocks young pretty thing lead him away and disappear into a room TOGETHER*

#9 How can I rebuild my self esteem after swanning into and straight back out of a full steam room? *does silent bikini clad moonwalk back out*

#10 Why is there always one person in the sauna who thinks I've come here for a chat? Half dressed and sweating is not the right time!

Cucumber Face Mask

Is it just me or is anybody else in the mood for a spa break now? Might have to look into one. After I've asked my bf who gives the best massages. Me or her? Well.....??

Tell me I'm not the only one whose mind goes into overdrive, even when you're relaxing!

If there's ever a time you don't want to make a social faux pas it's when you're scantily clad in the midst of a hot flush. Trust me. I'm speaking as a girl who once mistakenly thought a  guy who'd been talking to me, was gesturing to shake my hand as we left the steam room. He was in fact going to open the door for me. I died inside while he shook my hand out of politeness. 
Remember, if in doubt, nobody in a steam room is ever trying to shake your hand!
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