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Saturday, 24 October 2015

I Am Just Going To The Bathroom & May Be Some Time

Sometimes it's hard to be a woman. Sometimes it's the skin on our feet that's hard. My life is a never ending battle with mother nature to be soft and smooth. I'll tackle the world once I'm preened to within an inch of my life.

My "pamper nights" or countless hours spent in the bathroom, lathering on every lotion known to man, in a frenzied attempt to keep signs of ageing at bay, are a normal part of my beauty routine. I need to look my ruddy best. Well, less feral.

Hands up if you've ever died inside slightly, as your fella goes to stroke an unshaven leg. Preferably yours! Nothing kills the moment like a mild to moderately scratched hand. Scratching is definitely not winning!
Cosmetic Products In My Makeup Bag: Face Masks, Moisturisers, Pore Strips

According to The Scotsman, research carried out by a bathroom company has proved that women spend "The equivalent of one year, seven months, and 15 days" in the bathroom, "a month longer than men."
So how do we pass that one year, seven months and 15 days? We're exfoliating and moisturising our ageing torsos like there's no tomorrow. We're lathering our faces with the latest must have beauty buys, with an unwavering faith that this product could be 'The One.'

And why do we spend our time cocooned in a steamy room trying to look brighter and tighter?
It's no revelation to lay part of the blame on social media. We're surrounded by airbrushed photo's of hotties now more than ever. (Dismiss them as airbrushed. It'll make you feel better).
There's a second influence too. There's never been a better time for women to strike than right now! I'm not talking about downing tools. It's a time for gals to go out into the world and reach for the stars. In an age of female achieving why are we still so appearance obsessed?

In an article on www.psychologytoday.com , Marcia Reynolds Psy.D writes, "Quite a lot of research has tried to determine how many seconds it takes before a person forms a judgement of someone they meet. Their brains calculate your value in terms of age, social standing and how approachable you are within thirty seconds or less."

I always read psychology today y'know. *Nose grows
Ok, so I was doing a spot of research for this post and stumbled across it! Sounds good though right?

Just thirty seconds to create those first impressions! Taking care of your appearance doesn't make you shallow, or superficial. Hoorah! I do love a long bubbly bath!
Balance what's on the outside with substance from within on you're on to a winner! I'm thinking read a book WHILE your face mask sets!! Get your butt to the bathroom quick gals!! GO GO GO! There's a world waiting for you!

Thanks so much for reading. I'd love to know your thoughts on this post! Do you feel pressured to look tip top? Or are you a fella whose gal is currently MIAB?...Missing In A Bathroom!!

If you don't already, come and say hi on Twitter here and Instagram here xx

Sunday, 18 October 2015

Get Your Boobs Out ... Not Just For The Lads

October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Women across the nation are being urged to check their breasts and to make sure they attend routine breast screening appointments. No wimping out when it's time to get your wabs out! There's a manifesto title for you right there.

Not sure how to check your own bazookers? Get gemmed up on what you should be looking for with a Coppafeel guide here.
National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Check Your Breasts.

In honour of National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, this post is a celebration of boobs. A pledge that all boobs are beautiful, big or small.

The Benefits Of Small Boobs

If boob tubes ever come back into fashion, you can wear one without looking vulgar.

Men talk to your face.

In an apocalypse situation, where all bras have been destroyed, you could quite feasibly get away with wearing a crop top.

If said apocalypse has resulted in a mass panic, with the need to run like hell, you could out-run those bigger boobed gals anytime of the day ... probably.

You will never have boob related back ache.

When you take your bra off at the end of the day, nothing ventures south ... much.

The Benefits Of Big Boobs

You've got big boobs.

Boob tubes will never be back in fashion.

******

Thanks for reading. Get checking your breasts and spread the word while you're at it! Well not literally while you're at it.

If you haven't already come and say hello on Twitter here and Instagram here x x

Tuesday, 6 October 2015

Life Lessons From Caitlin Moran's How To Be A Woman

Hands up if you use the F word...No, the other one...Feminist! I've always fancied myself as a bit of a feminist, but, before I made myself a badge, I had some burning questions that needed answers.
 
#1 Can I be conscious of fine lines and wrinkles and still be a feminist?
#2 What if I don't hate men?
#3 Can you just have a quick run through of what a feminist is again?
 
Caitlin Moran's book 'How To Be A Woman' has the answers.
  
Caitlin Moran Book How To Be A Woman

If you're an avid fan of Caitlin Moran and you've already read this book, then okay okay, I'm late jumping on the bandwagon. Four years late if you're going to be an arse about it. If you haven't already read it, then get to it, you're four years late!!

The other weekend my TV aerial broke. My boyfriend couldn't fix it. He couldn't fix it because he was in Singapore. To be precise he was in a Formula 1 nightclub in Singapore, drinking complimentary champagne and grey goose vodka. He was having, and I quote, "an unreal night."

Meanwhile, at home, I couldn't get terrestrial TV to work. In that moment I hated my life. Dressing gown clad, I picked up How To Be A Woman and the unthinkable happened. I laughed. That's when I knew, this book must be really bloody good.

Life Lessons From How To Be A Woman


#1 On how to know if you're a feminist
Quote from book: " a) Do you have a vagina? and
                                b) Do you want to be in charge of it?"

#2 On men being feminists too
Quote from book: "A male feminist is one of the most glorious end-products of evolution...we ladies may all toast you, in champagne, before coveting your body wildly."

#3 On the first time you use sanitary towels
Quote from book: "The towels are thick, and cheap - stuck into my knickers, they feel like a mattress between my legs."

#4 On working out if a guy really likes you
Quote from book: "I think that, if he liked you, he'd just ... spend a lot more time with you, and say things like, "I really like you"

#5 On encountering sexism in the workplace
Quote from book: "...when the section editor asks me to sit in his lap, in order to discuss my 'promotion', I think, merely, more fool you, dude, and plonk down on him, heavily, then light a fag."

#6 On having babies
Quote from book: "Do you currently get wound up about poor customer service, or ill-made sandwiches, or how your legs look? You won't when you've been dragged backwards through the brightly burning gates of hell during a 48-hour labour."

#7 On reasons to not have babies
Quote from book: "Six weeks into being poleaxed by a new-born colicky baby ... and I would happily have shot the world's last panda in the face if it made the baby cry for 60 seconds less."

#8 On images of women in the media
Quote from book: "I've read more about Oprah Winfrey's arse than I have about the rise of China as an economic superpower. ... Perhaps China is rising as an economic superpower because it's women aren't spending all their time reading about Oprah Winfrey's arse."

If you're the female of the species, you need to read How To Be A Woman. You'll laugh, decide you are definitely a feminist, and wish that Caitlin Moran was one of your gal pals.

You don't have to throw out your Jolene Cream Bleach and stop shaving your legs. Moran makes feminism about a woman's choice. A right to be able to choose the life path that is right for each individual woman. She can choose to fix her own goddam TV aerial, or, ask her Dad to do it ... but whatever, she's still a feminist. Amen to that!

Have you read this book? Would you call yourself a feminist? I'm standing firmly with the floral scented uprising.

Thanks so much for reading. If you haven't already don't forget you can say hi on Twitter here and Instagram here xx