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If Facebook Had Existed When I Was A Teen: 6 Things That Would've Killed Me

I had the absolute pleasure of going through puberty in pre-social media frenzied days. I'm talking about a time when you had to ring your friends Mum's landline and see if your gal pal was in. When you knew full well that your Mum had "accidentally" picked up the second receiver in the house to have a casual little listen in. You knew because, erm well, you could hear her pick it up.

A time when if you said the boy you fancied had curtains, you weren't talking about the ones at his folks gaff.

As for Facebook. What Facebook? There was no comparing yourself to photographs of other people in your year at school. Cyber bullying consisted of someone logging onto your Encarta MindMaze game and answering questions without your permission.

My world consisted of my close friends (those that I'd exchanged landlines with) and a borderline unhealthy obsession with Leonardo DiCaprio. I was happy with the simple things. A few good pals and a Hollywood hunk. A hunk that WOULD be my boyfriend, if only he'd have a reason to come to Lancashire. I was like a pig in shit with a few Leo posters and a fresh pack of blue tack.

Leonardo Dicaprio, Seventeen Teenage Magazine, Zoella Magazine Cover

Social media today, is a whole other story. I'm in no way the first to talk about the huge part it plays in our daily lives. Checking our Twitter and Facebook newsfeed can be the first thing we do when we wake up and the last thing we do at night.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not bashing social media. I love a good Instagram snoop as much as the next gal. The world is connected like it's never been before. But, there's one thing I'm grateful for...There was no Facebook when I was a teen.

I got to go through my awkward, gangly, confidence lacking years, away from the prying eyes of the world. We all know that things are never as perfect as they seem, but would I have known this as a teen?

Here are the 6 things that would've killed me if I'd been on Facebook as a teen:

1. Photos of the party that the 'popular' girls got invited to. Speaks for itself doesn't it.

2. Seeing that the boy you'd been day dreaming about for the past 6 months was now 'in a relationship.' Thanks a lot for shitting all over my imaginary relationship Facebook.

3. Photos of your questionable outfits.
For an own clothes day at high school, I once teamed a lime green sleeve-less button up blouse with adidas shorts. It did not look good.

4. The confidence killing photos of the popular girls in your year who are definitely not in the late bloomer category.
My legs grew about 12 months before the rest of my body caught up. What would this have made me? A partial bloomer?

5. The period fuelled fall out with your gal pals lasting twice as long after several not so subtle status updates.
"Some people really need to learn to ASK before they borrow a lip gloss"

6. Having to explain going from 'In A Relationship' to 'It's Complicated' within a few hours. My best friend once forced me to ask out a boy I fancied on a school trip. He said yes. I couldn't think of anything to talk to him about. He broke it off that same day.

What makes you think, thank f*ck that never made it on to social media?

Thanks so much for reading. Now, crack on feeding your social media obsessions... Not Your Nine To Five is on Twitter here and Instagram here x x

By the way, it was Leonardo's birthday this week...Happy Birthday my love
Leonardo Dicaprio

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