Agent Provocateur & Why I Once Spent £55 On A Thong

What I posted on social media: Feeling indecisive! Which luxury lingerie set should I pack for a night away? Decisions decisions...
Chanel Lipstick, Perfume
What really happened: Hello there. The weekend has landed! Brace yourself for my sauciest ever post.

Now have I mentioned that it's my two year anniversary coming up? Oh, I have? Just about twenty times! Well my inspiration for this post struck while I was routing out my posh undies ready for tomorrow. I'm off to spend a night in Leeds, with my significant other to celebrate.
You know what a night in a nice hotel means don't you. In a nutshell, your bloomers better match your bra.

I've already faced the ordeal of a wax this week and am ready to ditch my 'weekday pants' for something a little more 'weekend.'

As I write this, Fifty Shades Of Grey puns keep coming to me. I toyed with adding one but it's perhaps been a bit over used by now hasn't it. I don't want to be alienating any classy readers after all do I!

Let's get back to the point. Amongst the 'fancy' underwear that I was rummaging through lies one set that stands out from all the others. My treasured Agent Provocateur set. Don't start judging, its not all nipple tassels and whips. They sell the most beautiful underwear. Elegant and classy pieces that make you feel great, even on your most frumpiest of days. Their pieces pull you in in all the right places, and push you out at all the right places. I firmly believe that every girl should own one set.

When I made my first ever trip into an Agent Provocateur store, I'm afraid I was luxury knicker naive. I trotted into Manchester's King Street store thrilled at the prospect of some fancy new undies. I was completely unprepared.  Allow me to share the frilly brief faux pas that still haunts me now.

The Do's and Dont's of shopping for coveted smalls (learnt the hard way). Nope! That wasn't a pun. Have a little respect, please.

DO expect to want everything in the store.

DO enjoy the loveliest, friendly service from the staff.

DO expect a member of staff to help you choose your items and find you the perfect fit.

DON'T be shocked by the sumptuous bed that's revealed as you move to the changing rooms towards the back of the store.

DON'T be alarmed when she peeks behind the curtain to see how things are fitting. Including the thongs.

DON'T be afraid to ask the price of things before you decide you'll take them.

DON'T wait until you're at the till and are being asked for payment.

DO try to hide your horror when the two lingerie sets that you have settled on come to £600.

DO steady yourself against the counter to avoid falling over with shock.

DO try to then casually cover up your horror, "Yes yes dahhhling, it's just I was thinking more like £500"

DO put on a convincing show of pretending that you've suddenly just remembered that you already have something similar and won't be needing both sets after all.

DO thank the Lord that nobody is behind you in the queue to act as witness.

DON'T admit to your partner that the champagne truffles you have, were put in your bag as a sympathy gift by the sweetest girl who served you.

DO claim that you bought them for him as a treat.

DO ignore any prying eyes on the train journey home, who may be clocking your rather large, pink Agent Provocateur branded bag.

See the underwear set that I left with here
See the slip that I had to painfully leave behind (along with my dignity) here

It's funny but the resemblance to me in those pictures is uncanny, ahem, yes really. You can take my word for it.

My first shopping soiree on King Street was one of those moments that will stay with me. Standing at the till, while a girl who'd just spent the best part of an hour putting me into various frilly pieces saw the colour drain from my face when she told me the price. I went 50 Shades of White! Thank you and good night. Sorry, I couldn't resist. Oh admit it, you wanted me to didn't you.

Now I could've put both sets back, but it was too late. I was already in love with the 'panels of French leavers lace and sheer tulle, adorned with silky self tie waist band and sweet satin bows.'
Let's be honest, true love conquers all in the end. I never regretted my purchase, once the shock and humiliation had faded. It was worth every penny.

There are two morals to this story!

#1 You will fall in love with the underwear when you enter the store. but don't get your knickers in a twist. I mean, how much do we really need food everyday anyway?

#2 If you have to ask the price, you probably can't afford it.

This is not a sponsored post, but I bloody wish it was!! What's been your most lavish expense? Can you top my tale of a thong?

Hope you've got a great weekend lined up. May your bloomers match your bra! As always, thanks so much for reading x x Remember you can tweet me here !

3 comments

  1. Lovely post, I am a sucker for pretty underwear and these pieces are truly stunning! I'm not very blessed in the chest area so I can't really justify spending so much on so little fabric, but oh, how I wish I could.

    NJCDesigns

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well I'm "petite up top" too but I don't feel it in their pieces. Wonder stuff :) It is a lot of money though, I'm with you on that one. Definitely gets saved for best!
      Thanks for your comment x x

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  2. Great post! Women’s underwear on the market today, and all are for different situations. Yet, the majority of women do tend to own lots of traditional styles of panties and the most comfortable, for practical reasons.
    corsetsnbasques.co.uk

    ReplyDelete

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